Contentment

I've been spending a lot of time mentally renovating my home and property...  wood floors, new doors that look like they were made 100 years ago, ditto for light fixtures.  Outside there will be water and electricity to the barn and automatic waterers installed this year, but I imagine the other pasture getting fenced out, fruit trees, some trees down, our pond-turned-sinkhole filled in and hopefully a working pond dug a little further east... 

Almost a year ago, we looked at another property that's two miles from our front door to that one, as the crow flies (a great hike through the woods, provided one has a machete to get through all the bramble on the long unused logging trails).  It's 7 miles if you drive it on paved roads.  The house is not move-in ready--far from it.  One corner of it has foundation issues.  There are septic issues.  Several windows are rotting and need replacing.  Ditto for sections of the roof.  I have no idea what condition the plumbing or electricity are in, or the heat and air units or ductwork.  There may be asbestos and lead paint.  There is a lot of trash in the barn and around the property.  If all of that were taken care of, there are some things that we've done to our place that I'd not want to live without if we moved--whole house water filtration system, tankless hot water heater, and reverse osmosis drinking water to name a few.  (Water is a big deal!)  Then, I'd still want to go through and redo all the floors, and probably doors and light fixtures...  Yet for all the work to be done there, I still keep thinking about this place.  Maybe it's because one room could be turned into a large ballet/martial arts studio.  Maybe it's because one room would make a fantastic weight room.  Maybe it's because there is lots of space for books.  Maybe it's because there is a fantastic room off the kitchen that would be perfect for homeschooling.  Maybe it's because it needs so much work that I keep thinking about it.  Maybe it's because it all seems impossible and it's fun to dream about things that aren't likely to happen.

The land has neat features...  3 ponds stocked with fish, 3 creeks that originate on the property, a pump house that spring water bubbles up out of year round, a natural gas well...  I keep thinking that it would be nice to have and it would be lovely to live there, yet I don't want to give up our place either.  I keep thinking that it would be nice to have property to leave to each of our children.  But who would get what so that it would be equitable?  Would they even want it?

The big house...  would I want to heat it?  I can't imagine doing that, yet I can't imagine being cold for months on end.  I can't imagine cleaning a place that big.

So, the big house would be a money pit and I'd be better off staying put and being content.  Maybe one day we will be able to build a building that's not for animals but is for us to lift weights in.  Until then, I'll try to learn contentment.