In making the decision to get some goats again (we miss the milk) we are at a juncture where we have no commitment to any particular breed and can start fresh. So, what to do? What are our goals?
I have decided that at this point in our lives, I don't want to sell herdshares. I thoroughly enjoyed my herdshare customers, but I don't want to put that much time into milking and I don't have enough refrigerator space with our growing family to accomodate herdshare customers' fluctuating schedules.
I have decided that I don't want to sell animals. I have made some lovely friends through the purchase and sale of goats, but selling (advertising, answering e-mails, phone calls, posting photos on the various boards, etc.) is really time consuming. We are already pretty strapped for time as it is. And, we like goat meat. (Chevon, for those of you who prefer "beef" to "cow" and "pork" to "pig" as it were.) It's higher in iron than beef and leaner than chicken without the skin, so it's really healthy, too. I also met my fair share of crazies through the selling process, and I really don't have time for crazies. My children and husband need my time more.
So, since the milk will just be for us, I don't need a high production animal. Since I will eat any that we don't keep, I want an animal that will make a good amount of meat and will not be expensive so I won't feel guilty *not* selling it. Since I don't show and will not sell stuff, I don't even need an animal that can be registered. In fact, why bother with that if this is for my own use?
This is all very pragmatic and though the smart thing for us, it flies all over my tendencies toward goat snobbery. I know of some lovely LaManchas for sale (I've always wanted to try them out) and they typically don't sell as well as goats with ears, so some of the same things could apply... but I'd be tempted to buy a really fancy buck and register and sell kids and get in over my head again. And the earless thing (they're not really earless, they just have little people-looking ears) creeps David out.
I am leaning toward Boer/Nubian crosses. I know. Nubians are loud and needy. But they don't require shaving in the summer! And the crosses should have some milk that is out of this world! Boer milk is like liquid butter. Only sweet. I think I'm drooling just thinking about it! David really likes the Boers, and though color is not important in a goat, I could play with color with Nubians in the mix. (Do you hear me? I'm going to have too many goats again, I can just tell!)
First things first. Lots to be done outdoors before goats can come home. We'll get there! One step at a time...
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Small Animal Swap Meet
Today, the major item on the agenda was to go to a small animal swap meet in Kentucky. We were really looking forward to something special. I got up at 5:30 so I could head up to the feed mill early before going to work out, and then our whole family drove an hour to the swap meet after that.
To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement. We got there an hour before it was supposed to end, and things had already been closed up. We saw pretty much nothing. I got some information from the lady that runs the whole thing. She was nice and informative, and to her credit the area where the swap meet was to be held looked clean, well organized, and serene.
This is what weirded me out: No where in any of the literature (brochure, flier, website) or in talking to her were any directions given to have some sort of health certificate or vet check done on any animals to be sold. When taking goats, for example, to a show, there must be a current health certificate completed by a vet for each animal. There is a vet on site before any animal is allowed on show premises. Animals can carry lots of diseases, many of them communicable, and nobody wants to have that sort of thing spread to their property when they take their animals to a communal location.
If I took chickens to sell, and my chickens didn't sell but sat in a cage right next to someone's alpacas or goats or whatever, and these animals had some sort of disease, I wouldn't want my chickens to bring those germs back to my property. I was pretty weird about this when I had goats, too. I really didn't want to show my goats, even with the precautions of health certificates and vet checks in place, because there are just some things that can be missed on those sorts of cursory checks.
So, while I have some older hens to move on, and my mom has some guineas that she will need to sell before retiring and traveling to and from Michigan frequently, I don't think this will be the place to do it. Guess I'm back to the options of Craigslist or butchering them.
To say that I was disappointed would be an understatement. We got there an hour before it was supposed to end, and things had already been closed up. We saw pretty much nothing. I got some information from the lady that runs the whole thing. She was nice and informative, and to her credit the area where the swap meet was to be held looked clean, well organized, and serene.
This is what weirded me out: No where in any of the literature (brochure, flier, website) or in talking to her were any directions given to have some sort of health certificate or vet check done on any animals to be sold. When taking goats, for example, to a show, there must be a current health certificate completed by a vet for each animal. There is a vet on site before any animal is allowed on show premises. Animals can carry lots of diseases, many of them communicable, and nobody wants to have that sort of thing spread to their property when they take their animals to a communal location.
If I took chickens to sell, and my chickens didn't sell but sat in a cage right next to someone's alpacas or goats or whatever, and these animals had some sort of disease, I wouldn't want my chickens to bring those germs back to my property. I was pretty weird about this when I had goats, too. I really didn't want to show my goats, even with the precautions of health certificates and vet checks in place, because there are just some things that can be missed on those sorts of cursory checks.
So, while I have some older hens to move on, and my mom has some guineas that she will need to sell before retiring and traveling to and from Michigan frequently, I don't think this will be the place to do it. Guess I'm back to the options of Craigslist or butchering them.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Hunger, Calorie Restriction, Fat loss, and Motivation
Inevitably, after writing some posts on weight loss and about what worked for me, I read something put out there by someone I trust and admire that seemingly disagrees. I think if we sat down and talked about it, we'd find we come to some of the same conclusions. We'd probably also come to some different ones, but I think we would come away respecting each other's opinions just fine.
Once you get used to a diet with the right amount of food in it (as opposed to the literally 11 pounds of food--not counting liquids-- I could eat in a day. That day goes down in history as my most gluttonous I've had on record. Maybe not the most gluttonous, but the most gluttonous on record! One day when I was 16 years old, I weighed 120 pounds, and the next day after using the restroom, I weighed 131! This was a family reunion day, where breakfast was from 8 to noon, lunch from noon to 4, and dinner from 4 on. But I digress...) Once you get used to a diet with the right amount of food in it, you will not be hungry, provided that you're eating the right kinds of foods. But if you're like me, and capable of eating 3 times as many calories as I need in healthy food, it's going to take some record keeping and some willpower, at least to start off. If the tendencies to overeat and misuse food are entrenched, it's going to take willpower for a long time.
If all you do is count calories, and you continue to eat the same junky food, only less of it, you will remain hungry. So what comes first? Counting calories or eating healthy food? I guess that depends on you and your strengths and weaknesses.
Because I'm capable of eating so much food, I knew that if I switched from unhealthy food to healthy food, I would see some weight loss -or at least not continued weight gain- because there would be some reduction in calories as well as a change in the way my body works based on the food consumed. But I also know my tendency to eat until I feel like I'm going to pop and that if that's all I did, I could actually (to use an example from something I read) eat 10 chicken breasts and 20 cups of broccoli in a day, which while only twice as much as I needed in a day (remember I had to do this without exercise so my needs were lower) it's still twice as much as I needed.
If, however, you're the sort of person that truly doesn't eat a lot of food, just not healthy food, then you probably need to learn to like healthy food and go with that first. That was not my problem.
I was a human garbage disposal and liked everything. I didn't like being hungry, so counting calories forced me to choose foods that would fall within my calorie budget that would keep me feeling satisfied. That turned out to be meat, healthy fats, veggies, and a limited amount of high fiber, high glycemic index carbs.
And there is a distinction between satisfied and popping full. Once you eat so that you are satisfied long enough, you realize that it feels pretty good, and that you didn't really feel all that great when you used to eat until you were popping full.
The "eat more, weigh less" pitches are really seductive to those of us who like to overeat. We want to eat more. But what they're saying is not "eat more than you do now." What they're saying is that you can eat a greater volume of good food and it will be less calories than a smaller volume of garbage that passes for food, and if you eat less calories, you are going to weigh less. Their focus is not on calories but on the quality of food.
This works for some people. Not me. When I throw out the scale (on vacation) and eat what my husband would turn his nose up at (veggie omelets for breakfast, salads topped with chicken or salmon for lunch and dinner), I come home, step on the scale, and find that I've gained 12 pounds in a week. I'm just capable of eating that much. I think people who fall into the obese category, if not dealing with some health issues that complicate things further, are probably like that.
Along with all of this, needs to be a discussion about what hunger is and what hunger isn't. Hunger is not a lot of things that those of us who can be ginormous overeaters think it is. It is not boredom. It is not the need to celebrate something. It is not looking at something and thinking that it looks pretty yummy and needs to get in my face right now. It is not hurt feelings that need comforting. And if you're like me and used food to satiate those sorts of hungers, then you are going to have to be hungry sometimes when you're not. You're going to have to learn what hunger in your belly really is, and what a satisfied tummy feels like, and differentiate between that hunger and that satisfaction and all the myriad of ways that you're misusing food. I sure did!
So, once you start eating the right amounts of the right kinds of food, and get a healthy understanding of what hunger is, no you shouldn't be hungry in order to lose weight. But the first few days of adjusting to the right amount of food will be really hard. If you've got a lot to lose, you'll have to adjust that right amount a few times (remember, if you weigh 200 pounds and want to weigh 130, you can't jump right into a 1300 calorie diet--start with 1800 calories and adjust as you get close to 180 pounds down to 1600 calories and so on.)
Weight loss plans that promise that this will be easy and pain free (except in the gym) sound great. I don't think they're honest when it comes to the heart and mind issues of someone that truly has a lot to lose. They're honest in that when you get all of the thinking and behaviors out of the way that caused us to be obese in the first place, what they have to say is true, and they teach us how to rightly think about fitness. But we didn't get to be an abnormal size by having normal thinking. Common thinking in our society, yes. Normal, healthy thinking, no.
Because it is also included in what I read, I'll quickly touch on fat loss vs. weight loss. Obviously, we want to lose fat when we lose weight and not muscle. In order to keep muscle, we're going to have to feed it properly, and use it. The sorts of foods that keep muscle are also the sorts of foods that will keep you satisfied and not hungry. We can make this really complex or we can make it simple. Are body fat monitors (bioelectrical feedback) accurate? Are they useful? Sometimes, and sometimes.
They can be accurate, but it sort of depends on the level of hydration you have. Even if not accurate, but all other factors are constant, they can give you a measurement to monitor, and this is important. Having something to measure and monitor and keep a record of is important to keep you motivated and on the right track. Is it better to monitor fat and not overall weight? This depends on you. What is going to motivate you? Not what should motivate you, but what actually will. And how often do you need it? Because the percentage of body fat lost compared to the number of pounds lost will always look small, it may not be the motivating factor that you need.
For example, a person weighing 130 pounds and carrying 18% body fat, has roughly 23 pounds of fat in their body. This same person, 50 pounds heavier and all the weight coming from fat would be 180 pounds and roughly 40% body fat. Is it more motivating to watch the fat monitor go from 40 to 18 (a 22% decrease in body fat) or is it more motivating to watch the scale go from 180 to 130 (a 50 pound decrease in weight) ?? You will see the scale move faster than the fat monitor, just due to sheer numbers. And if that's what it takes to motivate you to choose the water over the soda, the chicken breast over the cheeseburger, the salad instead of the fries, one piece of chocolate rather than the entire box, to head to the gym when you'd rather watch TV, then that's what will be useful to you, whether it's the *best* monitor for overall fitness or not.
Having used both bioelectrical feedback and a scale daily at one point in my life, I find that I can better connect what I eat to what I weigh and have a more consistent outcome than bioelectrical feedback. It just works better for me. But then, I was using the old sort that you had to hook wires up to various parts of your body and lay still and turn on a machine and wait 3 minutes, so the new bodyfat monitors might be better. I don't know.
Another corellation to money. If you're familiar with Dave Ramsey, you know that he talks about tackling your smallest debt first. It might be the debt with the lowest interest rate and not be the wisest debt to tackle in the overall picture. But there is a psychology behind that. Tackle the easiest debt to wipe out first, and you feel success and success is motivating to continue on the path that you're on. Whatever is going to show you some success and motivate you to keep going, is what you need to do. Never let the desire to do something perfectly stand in the way of doing it at all. As you get started, there will always be things you can do better. So do them better. There is a saying that anything worth doing is worth doing right. There is also a saying that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly--and they're both true.
Once you get used to a diet with the right amount of food in it (as opposed to the literally 11 pounds of food--not counting liquids-- I could eat in a day. That day goes down in history as my most gluttonous I've had on record. Maybe not the most gluttonous, but the most gluttonous on record! One day when I was 16 years old, I weighed 120 pounds, and the next day after using the restroom, I weighed 131! This was a family reunion day, where breakfast was from 8 to noon, lunch from noon to 4, and dinner from 4 on. But I digress...) Once you get used to a diet with the right amount of food in it, you will not be hungry, provided that you're eating the right kinds of foods. But if you're like me, and capable of eating 3 times as many calories as I need in healthy food, it's going to take some record keeping and some willpower, at least to start off. If the tendencies to overeat and misuse food are entrenched, it's going to take willpower for a long time.
If all you do is count calories, and you continue to eat the same junky food, only less of it, you will remain hungry. So what comes first? Counting calories or eating healthy food? I guess that depends on you and your strengths and weaknesses.
Because I'm capable of eating so much food, I knew that if I switched from unhealthy food to healthy food, I would see some weight loss -or at least not continued weight gain- because there would be some reduction in calories as well as a change in the way my body works based on the food consumed. But I also know my tendency to eat until I feel like I'm going to pop and that if that's all I did, I could actually (to use an example from something I read) eat 10 chicken breasts and 20 cups of broccoli in a day, which while only twice as much as I needed in a day (remember I had to do this without exercise so my needs were lower) it's still twice as much as I needed.
If, however, you're the sort of person that truly doesn't eat a lot of food, just not healthy food, then you probably need to learn to like healthy food and go with that first. That was not my problem.
I was a human garbage disposal and liked everything. I didn't like being hungry, so counting calories forced me to choose foods that would fall within my calorie budget that would keep me feeling satisfied. That turned out to be meat, healthy fats, veggies, and a limited amount of high fiber, high glycemic index carbs.
And there is a distinction between satisfied and popping full. Once you eat so that you are satisfied long enough, you realize that it feels pretty good, and that you didn't really feel all that great when you used to eat until you were popping full.
The "eat more, weigh less" pitches are really seductive to those of us who like to overeat. We want to eat more. But what they're saying is not "eat more than you do now." What they're saying is that you can eat a greater volume of good food and it will be less calories than a smaller volume of garbage that passes for food, and if you eat less calories, you are going to weigh less. Their focus is not on calories but on the quality of food.
This works for some people. Not me. When I throw out the scale (on vacation) and eat what my husband would turn his nose up at (veggie omelets for breakfast, salads topped with chicken or salmon for lunch and dinner), I come home, step on the scale, and find that I've gained 12 pounds in a week. I'm just capable of eating that much. I think people who fall into the obese category, if not dealing with some health issues that complicate things further, are probably like that.
Along with all of this, needs to be a discussion about what hunger is and what hunger isn't. Hunger is not a lot of things that those of us who can be ginormous overeaters think it is. It is not boredom. It is not the need to celebrate something. It is not looking at something and thinking that it looks pretty yummy and needs to get in my face right now. It is not hurt feelings that need comforting. And if you're like me and used food to satiate those sorts of hungers, then you are going to have to be hungry sometimes when you're not. You're going to have to learn what hunger in your belly really is, and what a satisfied tummy feels like, and differentiate between that hunger and that satisfaction and all the myriad of ways that you're misusing food. I sure did!
So, once you start eating the right amounts of the right kinds of food, and get a healthy understanding of what hunger is, no you shouldn't be hungry in order to lose weight. But the first few days of adjusting to the right amount of food will be really hard. If you've got a lot to lose, you'll have to adjust that right amount a few times (remember, if you weigh 200 pounds and want to weigh 130, you can't jump right into a 1300 calorie diet--start with 1800 calories and adjust as you get close to 180 pounds down to 1600 calories and so on.)
Weight loss plans that promise that this will be easy and pain free (except in the gym) sound great. I don't think they're honest when it comes to the heart and mind issues of someone that truly has a lot to lose. They're honest in that when you get all of the thinking and behaviors out of the way that caused us to be obese in the first place, what they have to say is true, and they teach us how to rightly think about fitness. But we didn't get to be an abnormal size by having normal thinking. Common thinking in our society, yes. Normal, healthy thinking, no.
Because it is also included in what I read, I'll quickly touch on fat loss vs. weight loss. Obviously, we want to lose fat when we lose weight and not muscle. In order to keep muscle, we're going to have to feed it properly, and use it. The sorts of foods that keep muscle are also the sorts of foods that will keep you satisfied and not hungry. We can make this really complex or we can make it simple. Are body fat monitors (bioelectrical feedback) accurate? Are they useful? Sometimes, and sometimes.
They can be accurate, but it sort of depends on the level of hydration you have. Even if not accurate, but all other factors are constant, they can give you a measurement to monitor, and this is important. Having something to measure and monitor and keep a record of is important to keep you motivated and on the right track. Is it better to monitor fat and not overall weight? This depends on you. What is going to motivate you? Not what should motivate you, but what actually will. And how often do you need it? Because the percentage of body fat lost compared to the number of pounds lost will always look small, it may not be the motivating factor that you need.
For example, a person weighing 130 pounds and carrying 18% body fat, has roughly 23 pounds of fat in their body. This same person, 50 pounds heavier and all the weight coming from fat would be 180 pounds and roughly 40% body fat. Is it more motivating to watch the fat monitor go from 40 to 18 (a 22% decrease in body fat) or is it more motivating to watch the scale go from 180 to 130 (a 50 pound decrease in weight) ?? You will see the scale move faster than the fat monitor, just due to sheer numbers. And if that's what it takes to motivate you to choose the water over the soda, the chicken breast over the cheeseburger, the salad instead of the fries, one piece of chocolate rather than the entire box, to head to the gym when you'd rather watch TV, then that's what will be useful to you, whether it's the *best* monitor for overall fitness or not.
Having used both bioelectrical feedback and a scale daily at one point in my life, I find that I can better connect what I eat to what I weigh and have a more consistent outcome than bioelectrical feedback. It just works better for me. But then, I was using the old sort that you had to hook wires up to various parts of your body and lay still and turn on a machine and wait 3 minutes, so the new bodyfat monitors might be better. I don't know.
Another corellation to money. If you're familiar with Dave Ramsey, you know that he talks about tackling your smallest debt first. It might be the debt with the lowest interest rate and not be the wisest debt to tackle in the overall picture. But there is a psychology behind that. Tackle the easiest debt to wipe out first, and you feel success and success is motivating to continue on the path that you're on. Whatever is going to show you some success and motivate you to keep going, is what you need to do. Never let the desire to do something perfectly stand in the way of doing it at all. As you get started, there will always be things you can do better. So do them better. There is a saying that anything worth doing is worth doing right. There is also a saying that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly--and they're both true.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
A few anecdotes and more observations
I've been pretty amazed by the response I've gotten via private messages and e-mails to my weight loss posts. I had intended to stop there and move on to other things already. Since this seems to be an issue so near and dear to so many friends, perhaps some anectodes and obervations that kept me going might be helful or at least humorous.
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I first heard that quote when I was dancing and had yet to know what it feels like to not be thin. But having sat on the other side of the fence, I can now say that this is true. Especially bad chocolates that taste like they have a lot of wax or something in them. Not worth it.
"Waste or waist." This is another one of those things that people tell themselves when losing weight. Since I am the sort of person that hates waste, I had a *really* tough time not finishing the food that my kids didn't eat. I've discovered that their dinner (that I watch them eat while I'm enjoying my wine) can be packed up and eaten for lunch, or if I want to please the dogs and chickens, I can give it to them. It isn't waste to give it to the dogs and they will love me more for it. You know what they say about the way to a man's heart being through his stomach? It's also true for canines. If you've got chickens, the entertainment value of tossing food out the back door and watching those little feathered piggies come running and clucking with delight is also truely worth it. What if you have food from after a meal that is uneaten, and you don't want to waste it, don't want to give it to your dog, and don't have chickens? I'll gladly take it off your hands and feed my chickens with it. Just keep it refrigerated until you bring it to me, okay? I don't want to smell like the old pig farmer that used to live across the street.
Somewhere not long after the weight starts dropping off and it becomes a pattern, you can tell that your body is working differently. Pulling energy from fat as opposed to putting energy into fat feels different, and it feels really good. Addictive, even. Moreso than waxy chocolate, for sure.
"Mama's eating sticks and leaves again." I had to ban this sort of comment from my house. No making fun of my salads when you get to eat the cheesy lasagna or thatheart attack in a pan poppyseed chicken I made so you wouldn't have to complain about having to eat what I'm eating. Feeling good about what you eat is important. And you know what? My family asks for salads now--even the kids! They're something special, and I never knew it, but to a 7 year old, they're also acceptable breakfast food. Go figure!
A husband that isn't sure that he's so supportive of this weight loss adventure can be easily won over. First, by insuring that he doesn't feel deprived just because you do. Second (and this comes after a bit of success) because you feel more comfortable in your skin after there's some room in it. And because this is a G rated blog, I'll not say any more about that. ;)
Clothes shopping becomes fun again. Even wearing pantyhose and high heels can be fun again. I never imagined it could be true--I thought I had just outgrown that stuff age-wise. I didn't realize that I had really outgrown it size-wise. Feeling attractive (not just hearing your husband say it and not believing it because you don't feel it, but really feeling it and being able to enjoy when your husband compliments you because it *feels* true) is really great!
I can't think of any more at the moment, but I'm sure there's plenty that can be added. Right now, little kids need to do an online history class, so I'll stop there. :)
"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." I first heard that quote when I was dancing and had yet to know what it feels like to not be thin. But having sat on the other side of the fence, I can now say that this is true. Especially bad chocolates that taste like they have a lot of wax or something in them. Not worth it.
"Waste or waist." This is another one of those things that people tell themselves when losing weight. Since I am the sort of person that hates waste, I had a *really* tough time not finishing the food that my kids didn't eat. I've discovered that their dinner (that I watch them eat while I'm enjoying my wine) can be packed up and eaten for lunch, or if I want to please the dogs and chickens, I can give it to them. It isn't waste to give it to the dogs and they will love me more for it. You know what they say about the way to a man's heart being through his stomach? It's also true for canines. If you've got chickens, the entertainment value of tossing food out the back door and watching those little feathered piggies come running and clucking with delight is also truely worth it. What if you have food from after a meal that is uneaten, and you don't want to waste it, don't want to give it to your dog, and don't have chickens? I'll gladly take it off your hands and feed my chickens with it. Just keep it refrigerated until you bring it to me, okay? I don't want to smell like the old pig farmer that used to live across the street.
Somewhere not long after the weight starts dropping off and it becomes a pattern, you can tell that your body is working differently. Pulling energy from fat as opposed to putting energy into fat feels different, and it feels really good. Addictive, even. Moreso than waxy chocolate, for sure.
"Mama's eating sticks and leaves again." I had to ban this sort of comment from my house. No making fun of my salads when you get to eat the cheesy lasagna or that
A husband that isn't sure that he's so supportive of this weight loss adventure can be easily won over. First, by insuring that he doesn't feel deprived just because you do. Second (and this comes after a bit of success) because you feel more comfortable in your skin after there's some room in it. And because this is a G rated blog, I'll not say any more about that. ;)
Clothes shopping becomes fun again. Even wearing pantyhose and high heels can be fun again. I never imagined it could be true--I thought I had just outgrown that stuff age-wise. I didn't realize that I had really outgrown it size-wise. Feeling attractive (not just hearing your husband say it and not believing it because you don't feel it, but really feeling it and being able to enjoy when your husband compliments you because it *feels* true) is really great!
I can't think of any more at the moment, but I'm sure there's plenty that can be added. Right now, little kids need to do an online history class, so I'll stop there. :)
Contentment
I've been spending a lot of time mentally renovating my home and property... wood floors, new doors that look like they were made 100 years ago, ditto for light fixtures. Outside there will be water and electricity to the barn and automatic waterers installed this year, but I imagine the other pasture getting fenced out, fruit trees, some trees down, our pond-turned-sinkhole filled in and hopefully a working pond dug a little further east...
Almost a year ago, we looked at another property that's two miles from our front door to that one, as the crow flies (a great hike through the woods, provided one has a machete to get through all the bramble on the long unused logging trails). It's 7 miles if you drive it on paved roads. The house is not move-in ready--far from it. One corner of it has foundation issues. There are septic issues. Several windows are rotting and need replacing. Ditto for sections of the roof. I have no idea what condition the plumbing or electricity are in, or the heat and air units or ductwork. There may be asbestos and lead paint. There is a lot of trash in the barn and around the property. If all of that were taken care of, there are some things that we've done to our place that I'd not want to live without if we moved--whole house water filtration system, tankless hot water heater, and reverse osmosis drinking water to name a few. (Water is a big deal!) Then, I'd still want to go through and redo all the floors, and probably doors and light fixtures... Yet for all the work to be done there, I still keep thinking about this place. Maybe it's because one room could be turned into a large ballet/martial arts studio. Maybe it's because one room would make a fantastic weight room. Maybe it's because there is lots of space for books. Maybe it's because there is a fantastic room off the kitchen that would be perfect for homeschooling. Maybe it's because it needs so much work that I keep thinking about it. Maybe it's because it all seems impossible and it's fun to dream about things that aren't likely to happen.
The land has neat features... 3 ponds stocked with fish, 3 creeks that originate on the property, a pump house that spring water bubbles up out of year round, a natural gas well... I keep thinking that it would be nice to have and it would be lovely to live there, yet I don't want to give up our place either. I keep thinking that it would be nice to have property to leave to each of our children. But who would get what so that it would be equitable? Would they even want it?
The big house... would I want to heat it? I can't imagine doing that, yet I can't imagine being cold for months on end. I can't imagine cleaning a place that big.
So, the big house would be a money pit and I'd be better off staying put and being content. Maybe one day we will be able to build a building that's not for animals but is for us to lift weights in. Until then, I'll try to learn contentment.
Almost a year ago, we looked at another property that's two miles from our front door to that one, as the crow flies (a great hike through the woods, provided one has a machete to get through all the bramble on the long unused logging trails). It's 7 miles if you drive it on paved roads. The house is not move-in ready--far from it. One corner of it has foundation issues. There are septic issues. Several windows are rotting and need replacing. Ditto for sections of the roof. I have no idea what condition the plumbing or electricity are in, or the heat and air units or ductwork. There may be asbestos and lead paint. There is a lot of trash in the barn and around the property. If all of that were taken care of, there are some things that we've done to our place that I'd not want to live without if we moved--whole house water filtration system, tankless hot water heater, and reverse osmosis drinking water to name a few. (Water is a big deal!) Then, I'd still want to go through and redo all the floors, and probably doors and light fixtures... Yet for all the work to be done there, I still keep thinking about this place. Maybe it's because one room could be turned into a large ballet/martial arts studio. Maybe it's because one room would make a fantastic weight room. Maybe it's because there is lots of space for books. Maybe it's because there is a fantastic room off the kitchen that would be perfect for homeschooling. Maybe it's because it needs so much work that I keep thinking about it. Maybe it's because it all seems impossible and it's fun to dream about things that aren't likely to happen.
The land has neat features... 3 ponds stocked with fish, 3 creeks that originate on the property, a pump house that spring water bubbles up out of year round, a natural gas well... I keep thinking that it would be nice to have and it would be lovely to live there, yet I don't want to give up our place either. I keep thinking that it would be nice to have property to leave to each of our children. But who would get what so that it would be equitable? Would they even want it?
The big house... would I want to heat it? I can't imagine doing that, yet I can't imagine being cold for months on end. I can't imagine cleaning a place that big.
So, the big house would be a money pit and I'd be better off staying put and being content. Maybe one day we will be able to build a building that's not for animals but is for us to lift weights in. Until then, I'll try to learn contentment.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Second Guessing
In my last post, I stated that it took me a long time to come up with the nerve to write it. I will confess that it woke me up after writing it last night and I couldn't sleep. See, all the excuses that I had for myself? I've heard them over and over. From friends, strangers, loved ones... It's not easy to write something that basically pulls the "BS" card on someone. (Yes, that stands for the words I won't say and not my initials.) But in order to effect real change in me, I had to be honest with myself. Answer all my excuses and debunk them. I was afraid that I would meet with the excuses of loved ones and step on toes in a way that would wound rather than help. And yet, I might.
But at the same time, I've had the opposite response. Rather than what I feared, I heard thanks for sharing my struggles and my victories. Thanks for having the courage to be honest and say hard things rather than perpetuating denial. I have been told that I was encouraging. Really, that was my intent and yet I was surprised and grateful to hear it.
I've had a few other thoughts with regard to weight loss, and since I've not been slammed with negativity for yesterday's post yet, I'll be bold enough to share. I just can't guarantee that I'll sleep tonight. :)
Another struggle I had with writing yesterday's post was that I once battled anorexia and bulemia. If you know much about ballet and the ballet world, this should not come as a shock. I won't share what that was like, because in my experience sharing my struggles and behaviors in that regard is only fuel for other folks struggling with eating disorders to try out the same behaviors. Making peace with hunger and not crossing a dangerous line that craved and felt empowered by hunger was a huge deal for me. Maybe that is why I clung so much to my charts and numbers. I had to have confirmation that I was eating enough when everyone around me worried that I was not. I had to have assurance that though I was sometimes hungry, 1200 calories was a far cry from the days I lived on 100 calories. No, I didn't leave off a zero. Staying within an acceptable range for my body weight was a far cry from dipping below 100 pounds. Our brains can play tricks on us and there is a ditch on both sides of the road. I've fallen in both ditches, but I know that there is a way to stay not only on the road, but also in my lane. My weakness is my obsessive behavior, but I believe that weaknesses can be turned into strengths.
Some other thoughts with regard to weight loss: When you're used to living off probably two to three times the number of calories you need, and you make the decision to stop lying to yourself and to stop being a glutton, you will run into people that will tell you that you are not eating enough. You will sit down at the table with your husband who can eat twice what you can and it will not feel fair.
It isn't fair.
But why should it be? Why should a 5'2" woman be able to eat what a 6' man can eat? If you take a man and woman who are the same height and weight, the man will have a higher metabolism. He will have greater lung capacity, greater blood volume, greater muscle mass, and less bodyfat. This is just basic anatomy and one of the reasons why there are different physical fitness standards for men and women in the military. Then when you factor in bone structure, it's just absurd to think that we are comparable. If you take this same man and woman and have them run the same pace for the same distance, the woman will be working harder (assuming you're not talking about a woman who has been preparing for this and a man who has been sedentary. Use averages here). It isn't fair, but that's how we're made. No sense arguing with something you can't change. (Yes, you can train and increase your metabolism and muscle mass and lower your body fat, but you can't make yourself taller or change gender and I'm going to avoid chasing down that rabbit trail!)
You know, with livestock, an animal that can keep weight without a great deal of feed is referred to as an "easy keeper" and it's a good thing. So if it costs less money to keep me fed, why do I want to call that unfair? Why do I want to eat enough to sustain a 200 pound man, when I don't want to be a 200 pound woman? I believe that God designed me to be where I am, to have the needs that I have. I'm not going to argue with Him, but instead strive to learn about what works for me, the way I was made. My husband's tractor doesn't complain because it gets diesel fuel instead of gasoline like his car. My dogs don't complain because they were made to eat meat rather than grass like a goat. This all sounds absurd, but it really isn't. Being content with who we are, where we are, how we were created, and living within our means and for our nature is just as much a lesson to be learned from the weight loss journey as anything else.
But at the same time, I've had the opposite response. Rather than what I feared, I heard thanks for sharing my struggles and my victories. Thanks for having the courage to be honest and say hard things rather than perpetuating denial. I have been told that I was encouraging. Really, that was my intent and yet I was surprised and grateful to hear it.
I've had a few other thoughts with regard to weight loss, and since I've not been slammed with negativity for yesterday's post yet, I'll be bold enough to share. I just can't guarantee that I'll sleep tonight. :)
Another struggle I had with writing yesterday's post was that I once battled anorexia and bulemia. If you know much about ballet and the ballet world, this should not come as a shock. I won't share what that was like, because in my experience sharing my struggles and behaviors in that regard is only fuel for other folks struggling with eating disorders to try out the same behaviors. Making peace with hunger and not crossing a dangerous line that craved and felt empowered by hunger was a huge deal for me. Maybe that is why I clung so much to my charts and numbers. I had to have confirmation that I was eating enough when everyone around me worried that I was not. I had to have assurance that though I was sometimes hungry, 1200 calories was a far cry from the days I lived on 100 calories. No, I didn't leave off a zero. Staying within an acceptable range for my body weight was a far cry from dipping below 100 pounds. Our brains can play tricks on us and there is a ditch on both sides of the road. I've fallen in both ditches, but I know that there is a way to stay not only on the road, but also in my lane. My weakness is my obsessive behavior, but I believe that weaknesses can be turned into strengths.
Some other thoughts with regard to weight loss: When you're used to living off probably two to three times the number of calories you need, and you make the decision to stop lying to yourself and to stop being a glutton, you will run into people that will tell you that you are not eating enough. You will sit down at the table with your husband who can eat twice what you can and it will not feel fair.
It isn't fair.
But why should it be? Why should a 5'2" woman be able to eat what a 6' man can eat? If you take a man and woman who are the same height and weight, the man will have a higher metabolism. He will have greater lung capacity, greater blood volume, greater muscle mass, and less bodyfat. This is just basic anatomy and one of the reasons why there are different physical fitness standards for men and women in the military. Then when you factor in bone structure, it's just absurd to think that we are comparable. If you take this same man and woman and have them run the same pace for the same distance, the woman will be working harder (assuming you're not talking about a woman who has been preparing for this and a man who has been sedentary. Use averages here). It isn't fair, but that's how we're made. No sense arguing with something you can't change. (Yes, you can train and increase your metabolism and muscle mass and lower your body fat, but you can't make yourself taller or change gender and I'm going to avoid chasing down that rabbit trail!)
You know, with livestock, an animal that can keep weight without a great deal of feed is referred to as an "easy keeper" and it's a good thing. So if it costs less money to keep me fed, why do I want to call that unfair? Why do I want to eat enough to sustain a 200 pound man, when I don't want to be a 200 pound woman? I believe that God designed me to be where I am, to have the needs that I have. I'm not going to argue with Him, but instead strive to learn about what works for me, the way I was made. My husband's tractor doesn't complain because it gets diesel fuel instead of gasoline like his car. My dogs don't complain because they were made to eat meat rather than grass like a goat. This all sounds absurd, but it really isn't. Being content with who we are, where we are, how we were created, and living within our means and for our nature is just as much a lesson to be learned from the weight loss journey as anything else.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Weight Loss
Weight loss is always a big topic, isn't it? Everyone wants to lose weight and everyone seems to find it hard. There are a bazillion products on the market to help with weight loss, and if any one of them really worked, it would likely be tremendous news. Actually, a few of them have worked over the years, and they get pulled off the market because they're dangerous. Remember PhenFen? Remember MaHuang and Guarana?
I thought I'd share my story. I've debated whether or not to do it for quite some time. It might make some people angry. It might help. Keep in mind, I'm not telling anyone what they should do, just making my own observations and talking about myself. Disclaimer over.
Before I get to the actual losing part, I'll back up a bit. Okay, more than a bit. (Get ready, Billie has a lot to say.) I started ballet lessons when I was 4 and continued dancing until I was 17. My junior year of high school, I was dancing 40 hours a week. My senior year of high school, I was attending North Carolina School of the Arts. I had a contract to dance professionally for Southern Ballet Theatre (now Orlando Ballet) in hand and turned it down. I joined the Marine Corps. I got involved in both the women's run team and eventually the men's run team. I started lifting weights. When I got out of the Marines, I became certified as a personal trainer and aerobics instructor. I started training for body building competitions... All this to say, that at points in my life, I could consume 9000 (literally) calories a day and not gain an ounce. I was too active.
At one point while training a client, the lady looked at me and said, "I used to be just like you, you know. Until I had a baby that is. I just lost 30 pounds and finally feel like I can walk in here and get help to lose more without being embarrassed about being seen in exercise clothes. When you have kids, take care of yourself. Don't let this happen to you." I remember smiling and thinking what I would never say, "What kind of a person would let that happen to them? I would never!"
And then I did.
Sure we all know people who have a baby, and then put the kid in the gym daycare while they work out. We all know people who can have a baby and keep exercising. Before having children, of course, I was going to be one of them. But then I wasn't. I certainly don't want to blame my children, but having children changes a person. Suddenly, it wasn't important to make healthy meals for myself when I had a crying baby. (Our first was allergic to the formula, but the doctors insisted it was fine, so he cried All. The. Time.) It was important to hold him in the way he felt most comfortable and sing to him while pacing the house for hours on end. And eat Snickers because it could be done with one hand. And have you ever seen the rooms for children in gyms? I'd have a hard time leaving my dog in them and my dog lives outside. They're that bad.
When I turned 33, I went in for my anual physical. I weighed 178 pounds. At 5'2", that was clinically obese. Obese. OBESE. obese. obese. obese... It was a year after I had delivered Shiloh, and I hadn't lost any more weight than I had a week after delivery. (I topped the scale at 199 pounds the day I gave birth.) I had become that woman I vowed never to become.
Why? Because I was taking care of everyone else and felt like it would be selfish to take care of myself. I didn't think about what I put in my mouth. But when I realized that my health could cause me to be a greater burden on my children sooner rather than later, and that I wasn't the person I wanted to be, I decided it was time to do something about it. I wasn't happy, and I was tired of being unhappy. I realized that I put more effort into taking care of my teeth than I did my body. If it was okay to spend the time I spent brushing and flossing to prevent cavities, why wasn't it okay to spend the time preparing healthy food and counting calories to ward off all of the other weight related diseases? Diabetes, heart attack, stroke... seems a little more important than a cavity, don't you think?
I think there has to be an emotional trigger to make someone really decide to get serious about losing weight. It has to be more than just wanting to be thin. It has to be something that will sustain resolve, something to cling to when your willpower is at its breaking point. It isn't easy. It will make you cry. It will make you angry. It will make you hungry. Did I mention that it will make you cry?
I still didn't have the opportunity to exercise. 4 kids, no babysitter. I couldn't get up and go walking before everyone got up, because the baby inevitably needed cuddling and feeding. I couldn't exercise when everyone was awake because the kids would climb on me or get in my way. I couldn't get out of the house because there was no babysitter, and my husband's schedule wouldn't allow him to hold down the fort for a bit without me.
That's no excuse. When I trained clients, I told them that what we did was 20% of the equation. 80% of their weight loss goals would be met in their dining room. It was what they put in their mouths--or didn't put in their mouths. It was time to practice what I once preached.
My doctor had told me that without exercise, there was a simple formula for determining how many calories I needed to maintain my weight. If I wanted to stay 178 pounds, I needed 1780 calories a day. If I wanted to be 120 pounds, I needed 1200 calories a day. If I was 178 and wanted to get to 120, start with 1500 so I don't go into starvation mode, and then as I get close to 150, lower my caloric intake more. If I exercised, I could eat more, but there was no good formula for that. Everyone's body composition and metabolism are different, and that has to be something that you keep careful track of and see what works for you.
I'm going to break from my experience a bit and note an observation I've made. People who are naturally thin have a different relationship with food than people who are not naturally thin. And most people are not naturally thin. Those that are (and don't have an overactive thyroid or some metabolic dysfunction that the rest of us could only hope to have) usually think that they eat a lot, but they don't. They will sit at a restaurant talking about how much they eat and are capable of eating, and then they have to ask for a to-go box because they can't finish their meal. Watch them. (Don't let them know you are watching them, because that would be rude and make them uncomfortable but just happen to notice.) They are stuffed after one hot dog and think they are such pigs because they ate a hot dog.
People who aren't thin (and I count myself--or the me of 2 years ago anyhow--squarely in this category) think that they don't eat a lot. I once watched my mom ingest about 800 calories and count it as a snack--not really a meal--it didn't count. I was like this. I think that if we're really honest with ourselves, we eat a lot more than we think we do. We eat 2 or 3 hot dogs, and because we could eat more, we think we are practicing restraint and say we don't eat all that much.
Write it down.
If we write down everything we eat, two things will happen. First, we'll eat a lot less, because we'll be embarrassed if we have to actually write down everything that goes in our mouths. And read it. And someone else could see it. The second thing that will happen, if we record the number of calories for each thing we eat, is that we will begin to see exactly why we weigh what we do.
Actually, I should have weighed a lot more.
I have a handy book that is a nutrition guide--it is like a nutrition label for every food--calories, fat, carbohydrates, fiber, sugar, protein, vitamins, and minerals for every food out there. Well, the ones that don't typically come with nutrition labels--which might be redundant, because those that do are often not really food.
I kept careful notes and wrote what I ate and when I ate it. I weighed myself every day. It sounds obsessive, but it taught me a lot about myself and how my body works.
I learned that if I ate bread, I would be hungry with only 1200 calories. I learned that meat, eggs, cheese (in small amounts), nuts (in small amounts) and lots of veggies would keep me from being too hungry. I learned that if I cut off food at 4 pm, I lost weight more quickly, and my carpal tunnel syndrome didn't wake me up at night. I learned that if my meals had lots of flavor (read garlic) that I would feel more satisfied. I learned that saving 150 calories for a glass of wine when my family wanted to eat dinner after 4 pm made me feel as if I was indulging rather than being deprived. I learned that cutting sugar and high glycemic index carbs out of my diet meant that I didn't get sick. Huh.
This is the easy part. The hard part is that I often was hungry. They say it takes about 3 days for your stomach to get used to not being filled to what "normal" has become and to create a new normal. Those are three hard days. Those are the days when you stare at yourself in the mirror, at all the parts you want to be smaller, and cry. You cry because your stomach is telling your brain that you need to feed those parts and you have to tell your brain that your stomach is wrong. When you have a cheat day (because everyone tells you you should) and you fill your stomach to previous capacity, you have to go through those 3 days all over again.
There are times when you know you are at your calorie limit for the day (or for the time of day) and want more. You have to forego the satisfaction of curbing your hunger for the satisfaction you will get when you step on the scale in the morning.
The good news is that unless you're close to your goal weight (for me that's about 10 pounds) that the weight can drop off pretty rapidly. Making healthy meals that will taste great and keep you satisfied become indulgent treats --better than getting a pedicure.
I often hear that it costs a lot of money to eat healthy. I found it to be the opposite. Sure, if I ate just as many calories of lettuce as I did in hot dogs, it would be more expensive. But that wouldn't change anything, would it? Eating 1200 calories of healthy food costs a lot less than eating 3000 calories of any food. I made more trips to the store for produce, so maybe the gas bill went up, but our grocery bill went down.
When I went for my anual doctor visit a year later, I weighed 128 pounds. I lost 50 pounds. My doctor said, "What did you do?" I said, "Just what you told me." When I went back to her again this past birthday, she lost 28 pounds. She said it was because of me. Now isn't that exciting?
I started taking martial arts with my children after losing all that weight. I found that I could eat more, but it was tricky. A balancing act had to happen after I started exercising. I wanted to eat more than I could, so I had to figure out through record keeping both of what I ate and what I weighed from day to day just what my new calorie budget could be.
I got as low as 126 pounds, but am now back up to 133. I know why. I am eating more, and later in the evening. I know how to fix that, I just have to gear up my resolve.
I mentioned a calorie budget. One of the things that helped me with all of this was to think about food as if it were money. With money, we all have a monthly budget. We have to pay our bills first before we buy fun stuff. If we overspend, we go in debt. If we underspend, we get to save. Food isn't all that different. We all have a certain number of calories we are built to run on (it varies for each of us and at different times with different activity, just like income varies, but wherever we are at the moment, that's what we have to spend.) Vegetables and protein are the bills--the mortgage, water, electricity. Cheesecake is the beach vacation. If I can't afford the beach vacation this year, so be it. I have to pay my bills first, or I'll be homeless or indebted. I have to eat the veggies and protein first or I'll be hungry, or gain more weight.
One other thing worth noting: When I got close to my goal weight, the weight only came off one week a month. The rest of the month, I maintained. The week I lost was a double edged sword--it was the only week I could lose, and the week I wanted most to cheat on my diet. So, when people say there is a hormonal component to weight loss, I will buy that, up to a point. But since I was already no longer clinically overweight even, I don't think it's as big a deal as it's made out to be, but maybe I'll view that differently when I hit menopause?
In closing, I'll mention that it's pretty unconventional in our society to suggest that it's okay to be hungry. I have to wonder where this comes from? Have we made an idol out of comfort and satisfaction? Fasting is of course found in the Bible and practiced in Christianity as a religious observance. I've also learned that other religions more common in other parts of the world pratice fasting for various reasons. If it weren't ever okay to be hungry, why would this be so?
I hope this is helpful if you're seeking to lose, or even maintain weight. If you're not, I hope you've at least found it somewhat entertaining. :)
I thought I'd share my story. I've debated whether or not to do it for quite some time. It might make some people angry. It might help. Keep in mind, I'm not telling anyone what they should do, just making my own observations and talking about myself. Disclaimer over.
Before I get to the actual losing part, I'll back up a bit. Okay, more than a bit. (Get ready, Billie has a lot to say.) I started ballet lessons when I was 4 and continued dancing until I was 17. My junior year of high school, I was dancing 40 hours a week. My senior year of high school, I was attending North Carolina School of the Arts. I had a contract to dance professionally for Southern Ballet Theatre (now Orlando Ballet) in hand and turned it down. I joined the Marine Corps. I got involved in both the women's run team and eventually the men's run team. I started lifting weights. When I got out of the Marines, I became certified as a personal trainer and aerobics instructor. I started training for body building competitions... All this to say, that at points in my life, I could consume 9000 (literally) calories a day and not gain an ounce. I was too active.
At one point while training a client, the lady looked at me and said, "I used to be just like you, you know. Until I had a baby that is. I just lost 30 pounds and finally feel like I can walk in here and get help to lose more without being embarrassed about being seen in exercise clothes. When you have kids, take care of yourself. Don't let this happen to you." I remember smiling and thinking what I would never say, "What kind of a person would let that happen to them? I would never!"
And then I did.
Sure we all know people who have a baby, and then put the kid in the gym daycare while they work out. We all know people who can have a baby and keep exercising. Before having children, of course, I was going to be one of them. But then I wasn't. I certainly don't want to blame my children, but having children changes a person. Suddenly, it wasn't important to make healthy meals for myself when I had a crying baby. (Our first was allergic to the formula, but the doctors insisted it was fine, so he cried All. The. Time.) It was important to hold him in the way he felt most comfortable and sing to him while pacing the house for hours on end. And eat Snickers because it could be done with one hand. And have you ever seen the rooms for children in gyms? I'd have a hard time leaving my dog in them and my dog lives outside. They're that bad.
When I turned 33, I went in for my anual physical. I weighed 178 pounds. At 5'2", that was clinically obese. Obese. OBESE. obese. obese. obese... It was a year after I had delivered Shiloh, and I hadn't lost any more weight than I had a week after delivery. (I topped the scale at 199 pounds the day I gave birth.) I had become that woman I vowed never to become.
Why? Because I was taking care of everyone else and felt like it would be selfish to take care of myself. I didn't think about what I put in my mouth. But when I realized that my health could cause me to be a greater burden on my children sooner rather than later, and that I wasn't the person I wanted to be, I decided it was time to do something about it. I wasn't happy, and I was tired of being unhappy. I realized that I put more effort into taking care of my teeth than I did my body. If it was okay to spend the time I spent brushing and flossing to prevent cavities, why wasn't it okay to spend the time preparing healthy food and counting calories to ward off all of the other weight related diseases? Diabetes, heart attack, stroke... seems a little more important than a cavity, don't you think?
I think there has to be an emotional trigger to make someone really decide to get serious about losing weight. It has to be more than just wanting to be thin. It has to be something that will sustain resolve, something to cling to when your willpower is at its breaking point. It isn't easy. It will make you cry. It will make you angry. It will make you hungry. Did I mention that it will make you cry?
I still didn't have the opportunity to exercise. 4 kids, no babysitter. I couldn't get up and go walking before everyone got up, because the baby inevitably needed cuddling and feeding. I couldn't exercise when everyone was awake because the kids would climb on me or get in my way. I couldn't get out of the house because there was no babysitter, and my husband's schedule wouldn't allow him to hold down the fort for a bit without me.
That's no excuse. When I trained clients, I told them that what we did was 20% of the equation. 80% of their weight loss goals would be met in their dining room. It was what they put in their mouths--or didn't put in their mouths. It was time to practice what I once preached.
My doctor had told me that without exercise, there was a simple formula for determining how many calories I needed to maintain my weight. If I wanted to stay 178 pounds, I needed 1780 calories a day. If I wanted to be 120 pounds, I needed 1200 calories a day. If I was 178 and wanted to get to 120, start with 1500 so I don't go into starvation mode, and then as I get close to 150, lower my caloric intake more. If I exercised, I could eat more, but there was no good formula for that. Everyone's body composition and metabolism are different, and that has to be something that you keep careful track of and see what works for you.
I'm going to break from my experience a bit and note an observation I've made. People who are naturally thin have a different relationship with food than people who are not naturally thin. And most people are not naturally thin. Those that are (and don't have an overactive thyroid or some metabolic dysfunction that the rest of us could only hope to have) usually think that they eat a lot, but they don't. They will sit at a restaurant talking about how much they eat and are capable of eating, and then they have to ask for a to-go box because they can't finish their meal. Watch them. (Don't let them know you are watching them, because that would be rude and make them uncomfortable but just happen to notice.) They are stuffed after one hot dog and think they are such pigs because they ate a hot dog.
People who aren't thin (and I count myself--or the me of 2 years ago anyhow--squarely in this category) think that they don't eat a lot. I once watched my mom ingest about 800 calories and count it as a snack--not really a meal--it didn't count. I was like this. I think that if we're really honest with ourselves, we eat a lot more than we think we do. We eat 2 or 3 hot dogs, and because we could eat more, we think we are practicing restraint and say we don't eat all that much.
Write it down.
If we write down everything we eat, two things will happen. First, we'll eat a lot less, because we'll be embarrassed if we have to actually write down everything that goes in our mouths. And read it. And someone else could see it. The second thing that will happen, if we record the number of calories for each thing we eat, is that we will begin to see exactly why we weigh what we do.
Actually, I should have weighed a lot more.
I have a handy book that is a nutrition guide--it is like a nutrition label for every food--calories, fat, carbohydrates, fiber, sugar, protein, vitamins, and minerals for every food out there. Well, the ones that don't typically come with nutrition labels--which might be redundant, because those that do are often not really food.
I kept careful notes and wrote what I ate and when I ate it. I weighed myself every day. It sounds obsessive, but it taught me a lot about myself and how my body works.
I learned that if I ate bread, I would be hungry with only 1200 calories. I learned that meat, eggs, cheese (in small amounts), nuts (in small amounts) and lots of veggies would keep me from being too hungry. I learned that if I cut off food at 4 pm, I lost weight more quickly, and my carpal tunnel syndrome didn't wake me up at night. I learned that if my meals had lots of flavor (read garlic) that I would feel more satisfied. I learned that saving 150 calories for a glass of wine when my family wanted to eat dinner after 4 pm made me feel as if I was indulging rather than being deprived. I learned that cutting sugar and high glycemic index carbs out of my diet meant that I didn't get sick. Huh.
This is the easy part. The hard part is that I often was hungry. They say it takes about 3 days for your stomach to get used to not being filled to what "normal" has become and to create a new normal. Those are three hard days. Those are the days when you stare at yourself in the mirror, at all the parts you want to be smaller, and cry. You cry because your stomach is telling your brain that you need to feed those parts and you have to tell your brain that your stomach is wrong. When you have a cheat day (because everyone tells you you should) and you fill your stomach to previous capacity, you have to go through those 3 days all over again.
There are times when you know you are at your calorie limit for the day (or for the time of day) and want more. You have to forego the satisfaction of curbing your hunger for the satisfaction you will get when you step on the scale in the morning.
The good news is that unless you're close to your goal weight (for me that's about 10 pounds) that the weight can drop off pretty rapidly. Making healthy meals that will taste great and keep you satisfied become indulgent treats --better than getting a pedicure.
I often hear that it costs a lot of money to eat healthy. I found it to be the opposite. Sure, if I ate just as many calories of lettuce as I did in hot dogs, it would be more expensive. But that wouldn't change anything, would it? Eating 1200 calories of healthy food costs a lot less than eating 3000 calories of any food. I made more trips to the store for produce, so maybe the gas bill went up, but our grocery bill went down.
When I went for my anual doctor visit a year later, I weighed 128 pounds. I lost 50 pounds. My doctor said, "What did you do?" I said, "Just what you told me." When I went back to her again this past birthday, she lost 28 pounds. She said it was because of me. Now isn't that exciting?
I started taking martial arts with my children after losing all that weight. I found that I could eat more, but it was tricky. A balancing act had to happen after I started exercising. I wanted to eat more than I could, so I had to figure out through record keeping both of what I ate and what I weighed from day to day just what my new calorie budget could be.
I got as low as 126 pounds, but am now back up to 133. I know why. I am eating more, and later in the evening. I know how to fix that, I just have to gear up my resolve.
I mentioned a calorie budget. One of the things that helped me with all of this was to think about food as if it were money. With money, we all have a monthly budget. We have to pay our bills first before we buy fun stuff. If we overspend, we go in debt. If we underspend, we get to save. Food isn't all that different. We all have a certain number of calories we are built to run on (it varies for each of us and at different times with different activity, just like income varies, but wherever we are at the moment, that's what we have to spend.) Vegetables and protein are the bills--the mortgage, water, electricity. Cheesecake is the beach vacation. If I can't afford the beach vacation this year, so be it. I have to pay my bills first, or I'll be homeless or indebted. I have to eat the veggies and protein first or I'll be hungry, or gain more weight.
One other thing worth noting: When I got close to my goal weight, the weight only came off one week a month. The rest of the month, I maintained. The week I lost was a double edged sword--it was the only week I could lose, and the week I wanted most to cheat on my diet. So, when people say there is a hormonal component to weight loss, I will buy that, up to a point. But since I was already no longer clinically overweight even, I don't think it's as big a deal as it's made out to be, but maybe I'll view that differently when I hit menopause?
In closing, I'll mention that it's pretty unconventional in our society to suggest that it's okay to be hungry. I have to wonder where this comes from? Have we made an idol out of comfort and satisfaction? Fasting is of course found in the Bible and practiced in Christianity as a religious observance. I've also learned that other religions more common in other parts of the world pratice fasting for various reasons. If it weren't ever okay to be hungry, why would this be so?
I hope this is helpful if you're seeking to lose, or even maintain weight. If you're not, I hope you've at least found it somewhat entertaining. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)